The Pathologically Confused Girl

boosprite:

OMG I FORGOT TO SHARE THIS STorRY

so i was drunk last night and we walked to mcdonalds and for some reason I thought the coffee was called a mcdouble (cause at tim hortons the coffee i get is called a doubledouble)

AND I WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED WHEN THEY HANDED ME A HAMBURGER

THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED

i just looked at it and went THIS IS NOT A COFFEE???

and the guy just looked at me and went “no its not”

it was the most confusing point of my drunk life

dingiius:

Sorry not sorry

kanyewesticle:

I can’t believe America won Eurovision

fonmasterguard:

So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle

Did he come to school late?

sluttyoliveoil:

sluttyoliveoil:

what does the teen boy say after murdering a man

haha no homo(cide)

spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.

french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever

german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA

english: *shooting up in the bathroom*

gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck

polish: here have all of these consonants have fun

japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western

welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk (also the beginning of words change according to context but there are about 20 different ways of doing this, SO EVEN IF YOU'RE FLUENT, GOOD LUCK FIGURING OUT HOW THEY CHANGE AND WHEN MOTHERF*CKER)

chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced three different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.

Arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!

Latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening

Sign Language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"

ambitioncutsusdown:

thesixtysevenchevyimpala:

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WATCH

probably either eurovision or doctor who

spookymormon:

spookymormon:

my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great

kuroenigma:

echobo:

lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake

darlingwanderer:

colouredking:

takealltheseats:

colouredking:

herpes sounds like the name of a greek god

thats because it seriously is 1 letter away

um lol i don’t remember any greek gods named gerpes learn ur history

HERMES YOU ASSHOLE

HERE HE IS WITH HIS DICK AND HIS CROWN AND HIS DAMN CAPE

SHERLOCK'S SCARF
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